I have come to think on sexual orientation again. Largely due to the fact that it is still very common to make fun of normal, straight people by calling them "lesbo" or "gay" or "fag". I'm not sure that trend will ever go away, but I think we could do more to discourage people from saying such things.
However, that's not what I wanted to write about. I'm not going to rant about the equality rights or anything like that, I want to ponder about actual orientation. How it gets discovered, what "normal" people do about their "odd" or "wrong" urges.
See, I think it's pretty normal for most people, most children, to reach a point where they're curious. Some people say this is a "bi-curious" phase, but I don't really think that's true. I think *most* if not *all* people wonder about it. What it would be like, or why people do it. Not in a hateful way, although I also think most people won't admit to this idea. I think that most children are curious, and because the way most societies work, or appear to work, they don't think it's alright to explore these feelings, or idea's.
Now I'm not one for people having sex before they're ready, or even for them to have it without careful consideration and appropriate protection. I do think though, that people fear being gay and therefore label it as bad or refuse to admit they are interested in the idea. I think many people are bi by nature, not necessarily gay or straight. We, as adults, make choices. We make decisions on what paths we want to tread and where we want to go. Sometimes we make these decisions because we haven't thought about all angles to our situations. Sometimes we make these decisions because we feel we have to.
It would really be nice though, if we lived in a society where it was alright to choose to explore these feelings or ideas without actually putting labels or misinformed animosity to them. If I had thought about things earlier on, I'd have realized I was bi-sexual before I was out of middle school, maybe even before that. But I was convinced I was straight, and just wanted a particular female body, which was why I was looking at them. It took falling in love with a woman to really set my mind in a tizzy. Then I hurt her terribly in the early days, because I told her I'd eventually marry a man and have kids. It's a miracle she stuck with me, and it's a miracle I didn't lose the best thing that had ever happened to me.
Sure, pick like the one place on the internet I don't have a login for.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it's not that most people are straight, it's just that most people are bi enough to date people of the opposite sex because it's safer. And some people are unfortunate (stupid society) enough to either be gay or fall in love with with someone of their own gender. For a lot of people gay could be a 'choice' but you don't choose who you fall in love with.
I suspect the sexual orientation of most people is 'complicated'. Like maybe you're only attracted to a certain variety of man. Or anyone androgynous. Or big burly men and bitty busty women. Or you have a girl crush on Starbuck and still don't really wanna see her boobs.
Not even taking into consideration what a bullshit imaginary construction gender is most of the time in the first place.
All boiling down to the fact that it really shouldn't be the business of anyone you're not a in a relationship with.
It was unintentional Tanzy, I assure you.
ReplyDeleteI don't really think that most people are "straight", and I completely see what you're saying about them dating people of the opposite sex because it's safer. It is, because most of society won't cause them troubles if they're "straight". It's even possible that being gay could have been a "choice" for me, but yeah, I fell in love, and that changed everything for me.
I wish it was more accepted for people to explore the things that make them happy, and that people wouldn't judge when it came to that. There are people who love the burly men, and when one of them has a tiny "goddess" attached to them most people think she could do "better" or something. What's that? If she is happy, that's what matters.
People should keep themselves out of situations that don't concern them. Now, I'm meaning the ones really out of a situation. A coworker who isn't my friend thinks they should talk about my relationship? Go away. My best friend in the whole world wants to suggest that maybe someone's hurting me and I should think about that, I want to know their opinion.
It's funny how love and attraction are often considered the same thing, when they really aren't. I have a "type", as I suspect most people do. I tend to go for dark haired Caucasian guys with a teddy bear build around my age who like music and video games and books and have the ability to grow facial hair. I have, however, dated other types: skinny, blond, black, younger, older, female... And then, to really complicate matters, I am artistically attracted to skinny androgynous boys that I would probably never even consider dating, but would love to stare at from a distance.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to love, none of your preconceived notions of beauty and attraction really matter, in my opinion. Sure, you may wind up with someone who fits your type. It's your type for a reason. But you may find that what you really care about is the fact that the person you fall in love with suits you in a way you never expected, regardless of the fact that they're male/female/young/old/white/black/etcetcetc. It's just silly, to me, to assume that we have any freaking clue about what life holds for us. All we can do is be grateful when we find love.
And now, to quote Chasing Amy:
Alyssa: You know, I didn't just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it's the natural way, that kind of thing. I'm not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just *gets* you - it's so rare. My parents didn't really have it. There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn't. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy.
Holden: Still am.
Alyssa: And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you *were* a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look. And for me that makes all the difference.
Holden: [pause] Well, can I at least tell people all you needed was some serious deep dicking?