Which is fine because I'm going to probably blog here about really depressing things for a while. Like now. I'm supposed to be being productive at this very minute, but I'm so freaked out that I can't even do that right.
I think that it's possible I procrastinate because I'm scared. Which is silly because what scares me is what I'm procrastinating about. Like, if I didn't procrastinate, it wouldn't be so scary. Like mouse traps. If you check them regularly then you can get rid of the mice when they're caught. But if you don't, then you might smell something gross and when you have to go clean it, it's so much worse than if you'd just done it in the first place. See, it wouldn't be so scary if I'd just check once a day, but I don't because I'm scared I'll find something I don't want to see.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Overindulgence
I think we forget, when we're really stressed and doing a lot of things at once and so busy we can hardly see straight, to take breaks and relax a bit. I also think that we forget when we're taking a lot of breaks and relaxing a lot to get off our asses and start doing the work we need to do. The only thing good about a standard job is that when you have to get to work, you have to go. There are set times and set schedules and all of that. When you're working alone, or doing a project when you don't have a "normal" job, you have to be the voice in your head that makes you move.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Attitude Adjustments and Sleep
So I have been having this whole issue where I've been irritated and annoyed at just about anything that doesn't go my way for a while now. I'm not really sure that is something I want to admit, that the inner brat inside me has been reigning supreme over my emotional outlook and general attitude towards life. I have to admit it though, because if I don't, then I can't move forward.
And the adult in me really wants to move forward.
I did some reading, with the helpful links the Wife gave me, and I found that I'm pretty sure that I haven't been getting enough sleep at night. Possibly this problem has been an ongoing issue for years. Apparently only about 3% of the population can sleep for 6 hours a night and be satisfied. The normal people should get between 8 and 9 hours with some people needing 9 to 10 hours EVERY evening. Chew on that, people who told me I'd be fine with just 7.
And the adult in me really wants to move forward.
I did some reading, with the helpful links the Wife gave me, and I found that I'm pretty sure that I haven't been getting enough sleep at night. Possibly this problem has been an ongoing issue for years. Apparently only about 3% of the population can sleep for 6 hours a night and be satisfied. The normal people should get between 8 and 9 hours with some people needing 9 to 10 hours EVERY evening. Chew on that, people who told me I'd be fine with just 7.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Nearly a Year Now
So it's been nearly a year now and I've gone through quite a few changes. The grandfather that I was going to come up here to help died and I moved from Florida to Ohio to help clean out his house. The desperate scramble to get things packed equaled a crazy move in February and since the beginning of March I've been back in the state I spent most of my life in.
The plan was that I was going to live in this house and help clean it of all the stuff. The hope was that by the end of a year my own, personal stuff, would be in the main area of the house and things would be clean enough that I could have family over for holidays. The Wife and I have done a lot of work, but as is usually the case, every step has been a steep climb up a mountain.
The house is a mess. The unfortunate part is that it looked neat, until you went into cupboards and opened up drawers. So now that we are going through cupboards and drawers things look like a huge pit of despair. It's unfortunate that no mess can really be cleaned up in a day, or even a month, because really I'm exhausted.
The plan was that I was going to live in this house and help clean it of all the stuff. The hope was that by the end of a year my own, personal stuff, would be in the main area of the house and things would be clean enough that I could have family over for holidays. The Wife and I have done a lot of work, but as is usually the case, every step has been a steep climb up a mountain.
The house is a mess. The unfortunate part is that it looked neat, until you went into cupboards and opened up drawers. So now that we are going through cupboards and drawers things look like a huge pit of despair. It's unfortunate that no mess can really be cleaned up in a day, or even a month, because really I'm exhausted.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Christmas Cooking Part One
Christmas time means a lot of things for me, but most recently, as in the last 7-10 years or so, it means a TON of cooking. Wife and I got nice and broke for a while and we pulled out her Betty Crocker's Ultimate Cookie Book and decided to make cookies and distribute them as presents for everyone. It was an instant hit and therefore became a regular tradition. We had standard cookies that we would make, but then there'd be some others we'd mix in and see what the family liked. My Grandfather for instance, loved the Ginger Short Bread cookies and suggested putting more ginger into them, so I would usually make him one large round cookie each year. Wife's family loved the Lemon Bars (as did we!) and her Grandfather began to get one large batch of chocolate chip cookies all to himself.
The last few years since we moved to Florida has been hard for me because the cookies are not quite as appreciated with this side of the family so we've been trying to do the "gift buying" thing, which gets expensive and is harder each year. The first year we did cookies, taking over my father's kitchen for days to do so. This year though we have our own kitchen and for the first time in four years I feel like Christmas is really here, and everything feels just about right. I got my niece and nephew involved in the cookies this first day, which was SO VERY long! Wife and I napped after the first batch of cookies stuff and then woke up to do the crayons. Today marks day two of the cookie making, so there's lots of pictures!
The last few years since we moved to Florida has been hard for me because the cookies are not quite as appreciated with this side of the family so we've been trying to do the "gift buying" thing, which gets expensive and is harder each year. The first year we did cookies, taking over my father's kitchen for days to do so. This year though we have our own kitchen and for the first time in four years I feel like Christmas is really here, and everything feels just about right. I got my niece and nephew involved in the cookies this first day, which was SO VERY long! Wife and I napped after the first batch of cookies stuff and then woke up to do the crayons. Today marks day two of the cookie making, so there's lots of pictures!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Christmas
I can't believe it's only going to be one week until Christmas. Where did December go? Where did November for that matter? I find as I get older I tend to get completely lost in the bustle of life and forget about the simple things, like the holiday. I notice that people are commenting about it on FaceBook, I see that people notice the holiday is approaching, but I feel like there's so many things I have to do before the holiday, and I am often left thinking, "What? What do you mean Christmas is in one week? You *MUST* be joking."
I suspect that part of this is the, "I am getting older so time passes quicker for me than it did when I was a child." thing. Each day has less of an impact on my life because they are worth less than they were worth when I was young. Since this is true, and I still have the thought pattern that there is always tomorrow to finish up what I can't complete today, the time goes by so quickly that I hardly get a chance to stop and pause, notice things like the lights on houses, or the crisp scent of winter in the air.
It's probably also somewhat related to the fact that I live in Florida, and although they definitely have a winter, it is not the same as seeing snow on the ground, heralding in the season and the reminder that soon there will be this great big holiday where everyone gets together and gives each other presents. Although I am a self proclaimed snow hater, it does a fantastic job of pointing out the season I'm in and telling me to get cracking on the gift decisions. I don't want to go back to the land of snow, ice and sludge, but once I'm there, I'll know what season it is because of the clothes I have to wear, not because of the date on the calendar. I'm still in shorts and t-shirts with fans and ac running. Up north I'm sure people don't leave the house without coats, and possibly two or three layers of clothes, and most likely mittens and scarves. It might not be snowing, but there is cold, and although it's cold down here, it's simply not that cold. So far this season I haven't had to put on long sleeves. Go tropical weather. I love it, but I have noticed a much harder time knowing what season it is simply by walking outside. Never had that problem in Ohio.
Please don't get me wrong and think that I want to go back to the snow, because I don't, I'm just pointing out the difference and realizing that may be part of the reason why the holidays creep up on me. Yule is in 4 days and I've just pulled out my yuletide music. Come December 1st I used to listen to that album again and again until the date (and sometimes afterwards) but now it's like I hardly get the chance to listen to the music before the holiday is up. It's sad, because I love it. Oh, and if anyone knows of any pagan/yule albums other than MotherTongue's This Winter's Night, let me know, because I am totally interested in good, pleasant music for the season.
I'm excited to be doing the cooking of cookies this year, because I think that there will be some actual interest in them. I bake several different kinds and use them as presents. There are sugar cookies, lemon bars, ginger shortbread, thumbprints, sometimes chocolate chip, and then something else that we decide to make. Years ago we baked a whole batch of chocolate chip for Grandpa (Wife's side) and I'd make a ginger shortbread batch completely for my Grp, and then we'd mix the rest. We always made a batch of Anise cookies for Carol (Wife's mother), and we had just begun to make tea cookies (thank you Mom for the recipe!) on a regular basis. My sister loves those. I love doing that, making the cookies, decorating them, cutting them out and having a house that smells so much like cookies and cookie dough that you can't walk in without thinking about it. This year I have my own kitchen, and I'm going to be so involved in cooking I'm going to be busy.
And you know what? I'm starting to get excited, really excited, about this. Cookies, holiday, wrapping paper, decorations... I want to put everything up, I want to have garland all over, and I want to remember how fantastic the holiday is. Hey, it's about family, and caring, and enjoying each others company. That's good, right? I can get into that.
I suspect that part of this is the, "I am getting older so time passes quicker for me than it did when I was a child." thing. Each day has less of an impact on my life because they are worth less than they were worth when I was young. Since this is true, and I still have the thought pattern that there is always tomorrow to finish up what I can't complete today, the time goes by so quickly that I hardly get a chance to stop and pause, notice things like the lights on houses, or the crisp scent of winter in the air.
It's probably also somewhat related to the fact that I live in Florida, and although they definitely have a winter, it is not the same as seeing snow on the ground, heralding in the season and the reminder that soon there will be this great big holiday where everyone gets together and gives each other presents. Although I am a self proclaimed snow hater, it does a fantastic job of pointing out the season I'm in and telling me to get cracking on the gift decisions. I don't want to go back to the land of snow, ice and sludge, but once I'm there, I'll know what season it is because of the clothes I have to wear, not because of the date on the calendar. I'm still in shorts and t-shirts with fans and ac running. Up north I'm sure people don't leave the house without coats, and possibly two or three layers of clothes, and most likely mittens and scarves. It might not be snowing, but there is cold, and although it's cold down here, it's simply not that cold. So far this season I haven't had to put on long sleeves. Go tropical weather. I love it, but I have noticed a much harder time knowing what season it is simply by walking outside. Never had that problem in Ohio.
Please don't get me wrong and think that I want to go back to the snow, because I don't, I'm just pointing out the difference and realizing that may be part of the reason why the holidays creep up on me. Yule is in 4 days and I've just pulled out my yuletide music. Come December 1st I used to listen to that album again and again until the date (and sometimes afterwards) but now it's like I hardly get the chance to listen to the music before the holiday is up. It's sad, because I love it. Oh, and if anyone knows of any pagan/yule albums other than MotherTongue's This Winter's Night, let me know, because I am totally interested in good, pleasant music for the season.
I'm excited to be doing the cooking of cookies this year, because I think that there will be some actual interest in them. I bake several different kinds and use them as presents. There are sugar cookies, lemon bars, ginger shortbread, thumbprints, sometimes chocolate chip, and then something else that we decide to make. Years ago we baked a whole batch of chocolate chip for Grandpa (Wife's side) and I'd make a ginger shortbread batch completely for my Grp, and then we'd mix the rest. We always made a batch of Anise cookies for Carol (Wife's mother), and we had just begun to make tea cookies (thank you Mom for the recipe!) on a regular basis. My sister loves those. I love doing that, making the cookies, decorating them, cutting them out and having a house that smells so much like cookies and cookie dough that you can't walk in without thinking about it. This year I have my own kitchen, and I'm going to be so involved in cooking I'm going to be busy.
And you know what? I'm starting to get excited, really excited, about this. Cookies, holiday, wrapping paper, decorations... I want to put everything up, I want to have garland all over, and I want to remember how fantastic the holiday is. Hey, it's about family, and caring, and enjoying each others company. That's good, right? I can get into that.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Transcribing
So years ago when the world was still green and flowers smelled like something, the wife and I decided we would start recording the games we did so we could write them out later. This is basically like recording a play happening, with tapes that aren't film so you don't get the motions, you just have to guess what exactly is happening. And it probably sounds cornier than it really is.
Anyway, it's been years since we did this. Over ten in fact, and eventually we stopped taping, but now we have containers and containers of tapes that are recordings of stories never written with characters neither one of us really remember. Which is probably a good thing because now I can laugh at myself.
Anyway, it's been years since we did this. Over ten in fact, and eventually we stopped taping, but now we have containers and containers of tapes that are recordings of stories never written with characters neither one of us really remember. Which is probably a good thing because now I can laugh at myself.
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